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September 30, 2009

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Daniela,

Thanks for your additional comments. I strongly agree that people need to think about what would be acceptable in their own community to give some perspective on what is happening abroad. Yes cultures are different but if you really think about it you can get past the novelty to the core of what a loving and responsible adult would do. Also thanks for clarifying that children in orphanages may not actually be orphans. I go into that extensively in my other two posts on orphanages but did not cover it here and it's worth repeating.

Thank you for putting this up, Saundra. I think another thing to note is that "orphanages" might not actually have "orphans"! Of all of the orphanages I have come across in Cambodia, there is only one that I know of which exclusively only takes in orphans (as in, children with no parents). Others still use the name orphanage, but act more like a boarding school for underprivileged children or a safe haven for children whose parents have been deemed unfit to raise them. The worst ones, and this is unfortunately more common than people would like to think, RENT kids from their parents. Yes, indeed, it is sick but true.

I have often commented that I would not want to be reincarnated as a cute Cambodian kid. If I was reincarnated as an ugly one, I might have a chance to go to school, but a cute one living near a tourist area might not have the chance to go to school as they would be the most successful beggars. They might be rented by some entrepreneurial person who sees how much money visiting foreigners give to orphanages, so they would be kept looking as poor as possible to attract more funds. The orphanage might outright buy the kids from their family or pay the family a small fee per month to keep their child there as a tourist attraction and fundraising tool.

To so many people, this sounds too inhumane to be true, but often times those are the same people funding these issues. Some of these "orphanages" parade their children around the outdoor bar areas in Siem Reap at night, playing music and handing out fliers asking people to visit their orphanage. It's 11pm at night, and this "orphanage" is traipsing their children, who they are meant to be looking after, around on a street full of drunk foreigners. Doesn't this just seem wrong, period? Well us foreigners seem to forget our wits at home when we travel, thinking what would be wrong for our kids might be ok for others, and there are countless travelers clapping for the little performers, handing $20 bills to their "caretakers" and promising to visit their orphanage during the week.

A note to travelers: THINK AGAIN before you give money to "poor" looking orphanages or before you go visit one which allows any old foreigner in off the street to pet their kids. Would you want this for your kid? If you want to know if a place is legit, ask other people in the community and others working in the education or child-protection fields in the area. They will be able to tell you which places are legitimate.

As a note: any orphanage where all of the employees are from the same family, especially ones which have only men working there, is a place you might want to reconsider. At least in the Cambodia context, this usually means there is very little outside oversight and the family can then run the place like a family business. Support the protection of children by NOT supporting these places.

For more information about protecting children, I recommend visiting http://www.childsafe-international.org/

I cannot agree more. Orphans already lost their parents and communities look for stability. Seeing people come and go will cause major distress now and in years to come. This cannot be stressed enough!

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